Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
