quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Randomize
