If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
