I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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