therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Someone stole a lamp last night.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
