Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
