Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
