ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
