Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
