It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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