Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
