Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
