Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
