pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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