so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
