..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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