I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
