i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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