i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
