There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
