normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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