Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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