I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
