in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
