so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
