I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
