ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
