If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
