just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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