a queef is a wish your heart makes.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
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