Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
