i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
