She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
