we're blogging at a bar
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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