he shaved USA in his pubs
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
