just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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