do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
