And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
