Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
