Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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