I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
