ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
