Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
