My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
