We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
