I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
