OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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