Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
How external is "for external use only"?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
