no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
