Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize