grandma shit on top of the toilet
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Go christen that room with your naked body.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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