he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Randomize
