I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
