The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
