She is in my trunk
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
